Welcome to the Jot Spot!
This is my little corner of the internet where I share my musings whenever inspiration strikes. Whether it’s the spark behind a character’s backstory, the wild twist that reshaped a plot, or just some off-the-wall observations about life and writing—this is where it all gets jotted down.
So scroll on down and see what’s been on my mind lately!
Trust and Deception in the MM Community
Picture it: a young writer, eager to make a splash in the gay fiction market, decides to reach out for advice from an actual author. He's nervous, maybe a little starry-eyed, but genuine. He wants to do things right. So he sends a thoughtful message to someone who's had some real success at self-publishing—an author who, on paper, seems like the real deal.
To his surprise, the author replies. Warm. Friendly. Helpful. Offers tips. Encouragement. Even shares some personal stories about their life. It feels like a connection. A lifeline.
Except… it isn't.
Because that author? Wasn't who they said they were.
As you’ve probably already guessed that young writer was me. And I cannot stress enough how genuinely grateful I was at the time for this author's support and encouragement. I think they know this. Or at least I hope they do.
But here's the part they probably don't know: I knew they were lying to me about who they really were.
Yeah—they catfished me. Or at least tried to. They presented themselves as a happily married gay man. Swapped photos. Talked about their husband. The whole bit.
But I already knew that wasn't true. When I had Googled how to contact this author, I’d stumbled across an old Facebook post from a middle-aged woman who was openly talking about launching a new penname and writing MM. Her previous books had all been MF romance. It’s safe to say she did not realise that her personal Facebook account was displaying public results for the male pseudonym.
You might be wondering why I didn't say anything. Why I didn't call her out when she sent me wedding photos of two men, claiming one of them was her. Honestly? She seemed harmless. I wasn't scared. I was on the other side of the world, and it wasn’t like I hadn’t been lied to by a stranger online before. Anyone who’s ever used hookup apps or dating sites knows that being catfished is practically a rite of passage. You learn to spot the lies. You learn to shrug them off.
For those who haven't done that particular tour of duty, here's some free advice: Never trust someone who only sends black-and-white photos! And if a guy tells you he's—and I quote—"top 30s," he doesn't mean late thirties. That dude is probably pushing sixty.
Anyway… back to my story.
At the time I was in contact with this author I saw them merely as a fibber, not a threat. But now? I look back and wonder if I made the wrong call staying silent. Because while I knew they were pretending, others most likely would not. And I wonder if, by giving them a pass, I may have allowed something more harmful to take root.
As time's gone on and I've had the privilege of hearing from my own readers—truly kind, generous people who reach out, share their stories, open up about their lives—I've realised something that worries me deeply: Not every author deserves that kind of trust.
There are bad players in this space. People who lie. People who manipulate. People who build entire fake personas and milk emotional connections for praise, for sales, or for something darker.
If you thought Santino Hassell was a one-off? Think again. The MM genre has a long, messy history of authors lying about their real identities, using sockpuppet accounts, or just being outright scammers. This deception thrives in part because so many readers are deeply trusting, and so many writers are too scared to call out the bad players.
There's something uniquely vulnerable about MM fiction. The emotional intensity, the intimacy, the sense of community—it attracts beautiful souls. But it also attracts manipulative ones. And the line between them isn't always obvious.
Look, I'm not here to police who writes what. That's not my job. But I am saying be smart about who you trust online. Check your facts. If something feels dodgy, it probably is. And if you see something that doesn't sit right? Maybe don't do what I did and shrug it off. Maybe that uncomfortable conversation is exactly what needs to happen.
After all, the stories that matter most are the ones told with honesty—both on and off the page.
